I knew this would happen. I knew that as soon as I released this little book of poems and had a book launch for them that I would want to hide. This appears to be a common feeling after releasing some manner of creative effort into the world, no matter how small. I used to feel like this after we had been gigging with my band. I would come off stage and be completely unable to talk to anyone who came up to offer a nice word about our music without sounding like an ungrateful dickhead.
So, for now I’ve not been writing much and my personal commitment to writing here once a week has fallen by the wayside. This is just me popping up to say hi, and thanks to anyone who attended the launch, contributed their own words to the evening or bought the book.
I’m currently letting things breathe and finding that I am gravitating towards doing things that plant me back in my body. I’ve joined a gym, I’m dancing and I’m cooking. That’s all for now. Trying to play around a little and straighten out some strong anxiety wobbles (non-book related as far as I know). I have many ideas for a new book but can’t go near it right now. I don’t want to do anything that feels like research or learning. I am needing light fiction, absorbing TV drama (thanks Sarah Lancashire/Happy Valley!) and cheesy pop music.
Hope everyone is ok and that the slightly lighter February nights are doing their thing for you. As ever, always love to hear from people- let me know what creative things you have on the go/Spring type activities you are planning/what books or TV or podcasts you are enjoying, Anything really, just a big old How Are You??
Much love
Em x
Feeling this. I had the same underwhelming emotion when I published my book. Like what was mine no longer is and here are my words in the world, unable to control anything. Feedback and genuine reviews help